Ladies' Home Journal Magazine

Ladies' Home Journal

 

by Larry Dobrow, Tuesday, October 17, 2006

 

HEADING INTO TODAY'S EXERCISE, here's what I knew about Ladies' Home Journal: One, it is a women's magazine -- a "home journal" for "ladies," if you will. Two, it contains lots of recipes, many involving peaches. Three, it's been around forever and ever, and ever and ever, amen. Four, it's the kind of publication that media nudniks scorn, because it has the audacity to give readers precisely what they want, in a breezy, easily digestible format.

 

Come on. Where are the multihued sidebars? The swirly, elongated fonts? The faux-provocative headlines ("332 Ways to Save 448 Minutes!") and quizzes ("Are you white? These questions reveal what the mirror doesn't!")? You'll never win an Ellie with a chart that succinctly lays out the benefits and potential perils of natural remedies/herbal supplements -- and without an Ellie, your mantel will remain as empty as a Lucky editor's bookshelf, or soul.

 

So no, I wouldn't change a thing about Ladies' Home Journal. Women love this magazine. Why mess with something that works in the interest of creating snazzier fodder for your art director's portfolio?

 

All those women's-mag mainstays? Ladies' Home Journal pretty much invented 'em: the family/lifestyle hints, the affirming first-person columns, the quickie relationship fixes. And despite a few tweaks over the years -- most notably bulked-up entertainment and beauty/fashion coverage -- the magazine remains true to its primary mission, which is to present time- and cash-crunched mommies with a glut of practical tips for everyday living.

 

Which isn't to say that the November issue fires on all cylinders. The wimmens o' country music headline it, with Wynonna Judd on the cover and a bunch of quick-hit interviews with Sara Evans, Lee Ann Womack and others contained within. There's nothing wrong per se with any of this, yet each of the Q&As covers the same topical ground: life, outlook, family, etc. A group klatch (and yes, I realize that busy schedules likely render this impossible) would have been a better choice, especially if some old-school, chaw-chewin' wingnut like Tammy Wynette were injected into the mix.

 

Nobody bothers to ask the bright-toothed, curvy gals about suggestions that Nashville has started to prize looks over talent, the responses to which might've proven a bit more diverting than "I love my husband/boyfriend. And you know who else totally rules? God!" Also, one inscrutable quote, from the expansive chat with Wynonna, caught my attention: "I've had my dark night of the soul." You and me both, sister, though I'm guessing yours didn't involve a Coors Light beer ball and some scandalously misaligned papier-mâché undergarments.

 

I question a few of Ladies' Home Journal's choices on the layout front, especially the way ads for an ADHD drug and a Web site hawking gunk to "firm up your derriere" interrupt an excerpt from Elizabeth Edwards' memoir -- one which discusses the death of her son, no less. Too, sometimes the relatively minimalist design doesn't work. Take the odd mishmash of headlines and captions on the page that precedes the "Your Self" section: It features "Speedy Stress Solutions" in small letters, right above "An End to Loneliness" in larger letters, with "Why Joy Is Contagious" in medium-sized letters just below. For a second there, I thought I was reading something out of Jewel's poetic canon.

 

What I've written so far dwells on the negative, which ain't fair. Ninety percent of the stories and features in the November issue -- especially the columns and home, health and family sections -- works quite well; the issue as a whole comes across as a masterpiece of creative economy.

 

Owing to its surprisingly frankness, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" transcends its glib title. The "Inner Life" piece on stress reduction offers advice more involved and less obvious than "downsize!," while the "Love, Sex & Self-Image" poll results are presented in a visually appealing manner and without too much extraneous analysis. Best is the extensive guide for coping with and ultimately defeating breast cancer. No-nonsense in tone and realistic in its depiction of the challenges that lie ahead, the story ably compiles a wealth of crucial information.

 

Finally, with the November issue's family-style makeover, I think Ladies' Home Journal might have stumbled onto a hell of an idea for a reality show. In it, the mag drags a Minnesota clan to New York for all sorts of primping and trimming and such (not that they really need it -- sure, mom's ink smudge of a brow could use some work, but they look like a normal American family). Think about it: add a "confessional booth," a shrieking nanny or two and some kind of vote-dad-off-the-island component, and you've got Fox ratings gold. I'd like an exec-producer credit, by the way.

 

So there you have it. "Venerable" and "traditional" are words that few publishers want to hear mentioned in conjunction with their magazine, but Ladies' Home Journal wears its old-fashioned virtue proudly. Kudos to the folks putting it together for resisting any number of noxious publishing-world trends.

 

Larry Dobrow is a Contributing Writer.

 

Magazine Rack for Tuesday, October 17, 2006: http://publications.mediapost.com/

 

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Woman's Natural Advantage

New Business Opportunity Taps into a Woman’s Natural Advantage

 

Good credit is essential today. Without it one cannot qualify for a mortgage, finance a car, get a bank loan or even open a gas charge card. The Credit Money Machine is a new software program that caters to a woman's natural communication advantage.

 

Bellevue, WA, October 15, 2006 --(PR.COM)-- Real Mango LLC announces a new business opportunity that is ideal for women and work-at-home moms.

 

Called the Credit Money Machine it’s a new software program that allows just about anyone to become a credit repair professional.

 

“We live in a society awash in credit and there are plenty of customers that need help in repairing their credit and boosting their credit scores,” says Brian DesLauriers, General Manager for Real Mango LLC.

 

With almost one-third of our population in need of credit help and another third available for a credit tune-up there’s plenty of business to go around.

 

A 2004 study by the U.S. Public Interest Research Group (http://www.uspirg.org/uspirg.asp?id2=13649&id3=USPIRG&) found that:

 

• Twenty-five percent (25%) of the credit reports surveyed contained serious errors that could result in the denial of credit, such as false delinquencies or accounts that did not belong to the consumer;

 

• Fifty-four percent (54%) of the credit reports contained personal demographic information that was misspelled, long-outdated, belonged to a stranger, or was otherwise incorrect;

 

• Twenty-two percent (22%) of the credit reports listed the same mortgage or loan twice;

 

• Almost eight percent (8%) of the credit reports were missing major credit, loan, mortgage, or other consumer accounts that demonstrate the creditworthiness of the consumer;

 

• Thirty percent (30%) of the credit reports contained credit accounts that had been closed by the consumer but remained listed as open;

 

• Altogether, 79% of the credit reports surveyed contained either serious errors or other mistakes of some kind.

 

Any way you slice it there’s plenty of credit repair to go around.

 

Credit repair professionals can work on their own and/or with other financial professionals such as mortgage brokers, leasing brokers, loan brokers, realtors, car dealers and others dealing with customer credit issues.

 

“Women are known to be more sensitive and better communicators than men which are natural assets in becoming a credit repair professional,” continues DesLauriers.

 

Real Mango LLC is a professional collaboration between two people who have never meet. Lorenzo Rodriguez and Brian DesLauriers first made contact online in 2004 while Brian was living in Bangkok, Thailand and Lorenzo in Florida.

 

For more information visit http://www.CreditRepairSupreme.com.

 

###

 

Contact Information

 

Real Mango LLC
Brian DesLauriers
425.458.1755
bd@realmango.com
www.realmango.com
Fax: 425-484-6547
 

Hallmark Magazine

Hallmark

 

by Fern Siegel, Wednesday, October 11, 2006

 

REALITY IS RELATIVE. I'M not talking about Bob Woodward's State of Denial expose on the Bush administration, though it's clear the current Congress needs a reality check. But since most of us never get to slap sense into our political reps, we'll leave the world of make-believe to them. They've had more practice. By contrast, most American women face real life on a daily basis.

 

The problem is, many women's magazines exist in a far-off galaxy where the goal of existence is twofold: achieve the perfect blonde highlights and wear size 4. And never, ever, age. These pubs, which apparently target zygotes, are obsessed with weight, men and sex. Their reality, like Congress', is skewed.

 

So it was refreshing to discover Hallmark's emphasis on every-day life. And it doesn't get any realer than a Kansas City reader whose beauty secret is "a bra that makes 40-year-old boobs ride higher than half-mast." Of course, the catch is how you frame reality. Since it's Hallmark, the focus is emotional. In a crowded category, one needs something to stand out. (Body By Victoria Shaping bras aside.) Enter the five focal points that double as the magazine's section headers: Inspire, Renew, Nest, Connect, Nourish.

 

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I prefer Cynical, Sardonic, Witty, Jaded and Snarky in my table of contents, but I'm in the minority. If I had twins, I'd name them Sarcasm and Irony. But that's me; I'd want them to feel special. For you, gentle reader, as Charlotte Bronte so neatly put it, Hallmark, according to its associate publisher Carol Campbell-Boggs, is aimed at a 43-year-old woman with a median income of about $80,000. Eureka! A baby-boomer magazine that dares to a) speak to women who are older than 25 and b) features a pretty model on the cover with wrinkles around her eyes. I was so pleased, I treated myself to top-shelf vodka as I perused the debut September/October issue.

 

Let's start with Nest, which suggests ways to bring that autumnal look into your home. Step 1: Go outside, gather acorns, gourds and branches, then dump them in a bowl. This is the kind of stage direction I love: simple and direct. "And don't be afraid to get creative," reads the copy. "Nature doesn't strive for perfection, and neither should you." Nature, let me just add, produced the Grand Canyon, the Tetons and Lake Louise in Banff. Man came up with bellbottoms, Slim Jims and the pet rock.

 

But hands down, my personal favorite was Nourish, which offers this novel solution to stress: a slice of banana cream pie. Sure it's true-blue comfort food, but it's so much more! It contains milk, which has an amino acid used to produce serotonin; it has Vitamin B6, thanks to the banana, which produces brain chemicals that improve the immune system; and it has magnesium, in the grains and almonds, that relieve muscle tension. I bet many have turned to pies in times of crisis. Now they can stop feeling guilty. Three cheers for a pastry-rich therapy program. It relieves stress--and tastes good, too.

 

And per Hallmark 's press, some 400,000 consumers will enjoy this sage advice. That's the rate base at launch; paid circ numbers are expected to grow to 550,000 with the January/February issue. To reach these consumers, Hallmark will leverage the retail distribution power of its 4,200 Gold Crown stores, as well as the 44,000 additional retail outlets--drugstores, supermarkets and other retailers nationwide--that carry its products. That's reach--and to its debut advertisers, Estee Lauder, Unilever, Kraft and Nestle, a reality that goes ka-ching in the coffers.

 

You get the picture: Hallmark has the requisite food, family, home, beauty entries, but the take is practical rather than precious. Though I did pause at Inspire. Learning how to tie a scarf like a Frenchwoman is not what I'd call inspirational. However, given the French stance on the Mideast, its participation in the U.N. food-for-oil scandal and its Vichy collaboration, I wouldn't mind learning to tie a scarf around some odious French politician's neck. That's what we call aspirational.

 

Fern Siegel is Deputy Editor of MediaPost.

 

Magazine Rack for Wednesday, October 11, 2006: http://publications.mediapost.com/

 

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Knit Simple Magazine

Knit Simple

 

by Larry Dobrow, Thursday, October 12, 2006

 

HEAVENS TO BETSY: DO you have any idea how many knitting magazines are out there? Any idea whatsoever?

 

Passing the vast, cavernous knitting-mag section of the local Barnes & Noble last week, I realized that I'd neglected this sleeping giant of a genre and thus the handful -- nay, tens! -- of mass-market advertisers who would potentially advertise in such titles. Yet still I was overcome by a sense of paralysis. So many knitting magazines, so little time. What if I chose the wrong one? Careers have been made and broken on lesser decisions.

 

So I downshifted into moron mode and grabbed the mag with the hottest chick on the cover. Alas, covers can be a wee bit deceptive: the fall issue of knit simple emphasizes sweaters over sweater meat. Even worse, it does so in a manner so precious and cloying that even glass-half-full knitters will find themselves entertaining dark thoughts.

 

No, knitting generally isn't a pastime enjoyed by hard-core cynics and no, there likely ain't much attitudinal overlap between the readerships of knit simple and Gawker. Nonetheless, the mag still far overplays the cuteness card.

 

Again, I probably should have taken a closer look at the cover, which boasts the faux-scribble fonts and lower-case headlines that practically scream, "Alert: adorability ahead!!!!!!!" I'll give knit simple points for consistency, as the mag maintains the hammy, encouraging tone in its every spread, headline and caption. The up-front "knits + that" section traffics in adjectives like "delectable" and "stunning," and in headlines like "Baa-dazzled" (for some kind of sheep-related accessory). It advises readers that "'Tis the season to be felting" (you need a permit for that, you know) and plugs a few new yarns which, to these untrained eyes, totally look like yarn.

 

The features work much better, especially on the presentation front. Rather than the expected picture/pattern/instructions trifecta, knit simple simply depicts the final product, whether a skirt for the office or a pet blanket or -- yay! -- mittens. The mag relegates the how-to stuff to the back of the issue, an inspired decision that keeps the features a-flowin' as smoothly as the Mississippi. I'd say something about the overabundance of toothy models within them, but I have no alternative to suggest. Really, nobody wants to see a shot of grandma, her legs tucked into a cozy, elegantly knit afghan and her arms cloaked by a homemade shawl, in the throes of pinochle bliss.

 

It's decent of the mag to take a page or so to call attention to knitting-related charity efforts, including Socks for Soldiers and a campaign to knit mittens -- double yay! -- for Kazakh orphans. I also admire the way knit simple caters to newbie and expert alike, with a list of terminology, columns on both basic and advanced techniques, and resources aplenty (URLs, phone numbers, you name it). At the same time, the mag tends toward the most obvious story ideas, like the holiday-themed piece we're going to see in every issue of every magazine over the next six weeks. Here, knit simple presents numbingly blatant tips for readers whose "knitted-gift list has gotten away from [them]." Two-word summary: start early.

 

Finally, I'd be doing the publishing business a disservice if I held my tongue about this: Can we all agree that personal/quirky flourishes within the magazine masthead ("Amanda collects earrings on her travels," "Billy once killed and mounted an endangered rhino using nothing but a toothpick and a wad of gum," etc.) have crossed the line between clever and cliché? I'm sure that every publication employs many lovely human beings who are quite eager to share that very special something that makes them very special. But gosh, a mag's creative staff is given ample opportunity to flash its personality via words and photos and obtrusive sidebars on the, like, 92 pages that follow. Put a cork in it.

 

Where was I? Oh, knit simple. Yeah, the magazine seriously needs a thorough de-cutefication, and maybe it shouldn't look quite as much like All You as it does (the similarities are uncanny at times). Overall, though, you could probably do worse by way of a knitting magazine -- and I say that as an utter ignoramus who has never glanced at another knitting magazine and won't do so again until the next "diversify, son, diversify" note arrives from my editors. So there you have it.

 

Larry Dobrow is a Contributing Writer.

 

Magazine Rack for Thursday, October 12, 2006: http://publications.mediapost.com/
 
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Technology Adoption Panel Looking for New Members

I am currently a TAP Panelist and just found out they are looking for new members. You don't get paid directly, but you do get a chance to win quite a bit of money. This is not a scam of any kind.

---

So that the people you refer don't think you're involving them in a scam, here are some answers to commonly-asked questions about the TAP, along with a link to the registration survey at the end:

Who are you people, anyway? In-Stat (a division of Reed Business Information) is a leading provider of technology market research and consulting.

What's a "Technology Adoption Panel"? The "TAP" is a dynamic, online panel of more than 16,000 technology users and decision makers interested in contributing their opinions and insights about technology usage and issues in the workplace and at home.

I often experience technical difficulties while operating my telephone and other common technologies. Are you sure you want me to join your panel? Yes! The fact that you operate common technologies makes you a technology user. We want to hear about your personal experiences with the technologies that you have used.

I'm a very, very busy person. What will you expect of me if I join the panel? As a member you'll be sent periodic email invitations to participate in quick (as in 5-minutes-or-less quick) online surveys. You will never be invited to take more than one survey a week, and you are under no obligation to take any of the surveys (although we would love to include your experiences, perceptions, and opinions in as many of our research efforts in which you're willing to participate.)

Let's cut to the chase - what do I get out of this deal? In addition to helping to shape trends and identify issues regarding the role of new technology in business and personal life today and in the future, you'll have access to the executive summaries of all of our surveys. You'll also be entered into a drawing for a $100 American Express Gift Check after each survey for which you qualify and will also be entered into our quarterly drawings for $2000.

Will you be selling my survey responses to my neighbors, co-workers and psychiatrists? To ensure information provided by members is kept completely confidential, all data we collect is reported in aggregate. We do not sell or rent the personal information of our panelists, nor will we ever try to sell our members anything.

You had me at hello - how do I sign up? Simply click on the following link and take the registration survey (which should take you around 5 minutes to complete). If you become a member by the end of this month, we will automatically enter you into our next quarterly drawing of $2000 (held on or about December 31, 2006.)

Join The Technology Adoption Panel

Thank you again, and good luck in the drawing.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Pickering
Primary Research Project Manager
In-Stat
225 Wyman Street
Waltham, MA 02451

Woman's Financial Conference

I just received a "special invitation" in the mail today that was signed by Ellen Munson, who indicates she is the president of something called the "Women's Financial Conference. The mailing was pretty nice and seemed like it was addressed by hand. It mentions that someone named "Jean Chatzky, columnist Money Magazine and Financial Author" will be there live and in person.

Ellen Munson specifically says in her message describing the conference to "Please give me a call soon. Call (800) 957-3865 to reserve your seat." However, when I called and asked for Ellen, they didn't know who she was. I gave her full name, and that didn't seem to ring a bell either. After the operator talked to someone else, she can back and said she was not available. When asked when she would be available, I was told that she wouldn't be. When I asked for a number, I was told that the operators are not allowed to transfer calls to her. When I asked if she was a real person, I was assured that she was.

So either the operator was lying, or Ms. Munson doesn't seem to care to be bothered by calls from potential clients or conference attendees. I suspect the former is true. So you have to ask yourself if a company feels they have to manufacture someone to represent themselves, how ethical could they be? Is this just a front for some kind of scam?

Anyway, I found very few other listings for this event, so I would be very careful of scams if you decide to attend this "conference". Do a search for the 800 number and you'll find a little more information.

The return postal address for the mailing I got is:

808 E. U. Valley Drive
American Fork, UT 84003

Hold on, now we are getting somewhere!!! I just found this address that matches:

SENTO CORP
808 East Utah Valley Drive
American Fork, UT 84003
801 492-2000
801 224-2426 fax
http://www.sento.com/

Patrick F. O'Neal, President, CEO and Director
Stanley J. Cutler, Senior Vice President of Finance and Corporate Secretary
Eric Olafson, Director
Kim A. Cooper, Director
Gary B. Filler, Chairman of the Board
Kieth E. Sorenson, Director
Chris Wells, Senior Vice President of Sales
C. Lloyd Mahaffey, Director
Phillip J. Windley, Director

http://www.business.com/directory/computers_and_software/education_and_training/sento/profile/


Ah-HA! Paydirt! It seems the company is known to the BBB:

The following is a news release issued by the Northeastern Indiana Better Business Bureau:

July 28, 2005 -Fort Wayne, IN - The Northeastern Indiana BBB has received several calls from consumers questioning an impressive VIP Invitation they are receiving from Ellen Munson, President of the American Women's Conference, sending two complimentary VIP tickets worth $69 - seat confirmation #24 and #25.  The conference is to take place at the Grand Wayne Convention Center on Friday, August 26th.

According to BBB records, this company has an unsatisfactory record.  It is listed under National Training Conference, LLC.  This unsatisfactory record is based on past BBB experience with Money in Training which has the same principal officers as National Training Conference.  Money in Training has an unsatisfactory record for theft of a federally protected trademark, failure to honor a cease and desist agreement, false and misleading advertising

Please go to www.bbb.org to receive complete reports on National Training conference, LLC and Money in Training, LLC, both based in Provo, UT.  Or call the BBB at 1.800.552.4631 or 423.4433 and a report will be read to you.

Consumers who plan to attend free seminars should be aware that in most cases the presenters will promote products and services that are for sale. Products sold at these seminars include self improvement, investment education materials, and home based businesses.  The BBB is cautioning those attending to read and understand any cancellation policies or guarantees before agreeing to purchase or signing any agreements.

I found it here:
http://www.wane.com/Global/story.asp?S=3652790

---

CONSUMER ALERT
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Contact: Julie Wheeler, President & CEO
September 6, 2005
540-342-3455 or 800-533-5501
Fax: 540-345-2289
E-mail: info@roanoke.bbb.org

Women’s Conference Not What It Seems

Many consumers have received an invitation to “The Women’s Conference” in Roanoke on September 22. Before you count that money, the Better Business Bureau Serving Western Virginia wants you to know that the claims this conference makes may be misleading.

The conference is being offered through the National Training Conference in Provo, Utah. The BBB Serving Utah has received complaints against the company stating that the company is providing false and misleading information, and that it does not honor its money-back guarantee on kits sold to conference attendees. The company has been responsive to complaints sent by the bureau.

“Consumers who receive information on this conference need to be aware that high-pressure sales tactics are often used at this type of seminar,” said Julie Wheeler, president of the BBB Serving Western Virginia. “If the information seems too good to be true, it often is.”

The tickets enclosed with the invitation are also deceptive. Mailed invitations from The Women’s Conference President Ellen Munson begin, "Because you were referred to me, I wanted to personally invite you as my VIP guest to attend the nation's No. 1 women’s conference." It goes on to say, "The normal tuition fee of $149 is waived for you." Two "complimentary" tickets, presumably worth $298 together, are enclosed. Other information about the conference states that attendance is free.

Consumers who decide to attend the conference should be careful about purchasing investment
materials. Before making any investment, the Better Business Bureau and state securities
regulators urge investors to ask the following questions:

• Has the seller provided written information that fully explains the investment? Make sure you get
a prospectus or offering circular, before you buy. The documentation should contain enough clear
and accurate information to allow you or your financial adviser to evaluate and verify the
particulars of the investment.

• Are claims made for the investment realistic? Some things really are too good to be true. Use
common sense and get a professional, third-party opinion when presented with investment
opportunities that offer unusually high returns in comparison to other investment options.

• Does the investment meet your personal investment goals? Whether you are investing for long-
term growth, investment income or other reasons, an investment should match your own
investment goals.

Call the Better Business Bureau to check the reliability of a company before you decide to do
business with them. The bureau can be reached at 342-3455 or 800-533-5501 and on the
web at www.vabbb.org.

I found this one here:  www.vabbb.org/alerts/090605.pdf

---

If you need any more information about this scam, please take a look here:

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22National+Training+Conference%2C+LLC%22

Muscle & Fitness Hers Magazine

Muscle & Fitness Hers

 

by Larry Dobrow, Wednesday, October 4, 2006

 

NOTE FROM LD: TOMORROW'S column will be the first-ever "Uncle Larry's Mailbag." In it, yours truly will answer the questions that seem to be piling up on that blog thing, as well as anything/everything you send to me today at Larry (at) Mediapost.com. I'm told that I should stick to magazines and such, but special consideration will be given to personal attacks and things that make me giggle. Go to it, kids.

 

If I were to write a book, its working title (and central premise) would likely be: "Things I've Accidentally Flushed Down the Toilet." Owing to the location of the throne within my snug NYC bathroom, due south of the medicine cabinet, right next door to the sink; I've accidentally sent many an item plunging to a watery grave in the 2.5 years I've lived here: razor blades, vitamins, a friend's earring, toothpaste and deodorant and shampoo caps. All have met their end, courtesy of my toilet's gaping, insatiable maw.

 

The September/October issue of Muscle & Fitness Hers almost enjoyed that tragic fate. I was reading it while on the can earlier today--this is my job, you know--and placed it in what I believed to be a impregnable location as I washed my hands. Somehow, in reaching for the hand towel, I elbowed the magazine off its perch. As I saw it fall, time stood still. My face froze in a silent, agonizing "noooooooo!" It teetered on the edge of the inner rim before tumbling, unscathed, onto the floor. I let out a deep sigh of relief and solemnly vowed never again to mix work and potty. I broke that promise 18 minutes later.

 

Writing this column, then, feels like something of an afterthought. Of course, it doesn't help that Muscle & Fitness Hers gives me so little to work with. In every way, from its hyperactive design and layout to its by-the-numbers gal-mag staples, the title reeks of desperation from each of its well-oiled pores.

 

I have no idea why the publishers decided to compromise the stalwart Muscle & Fitness brand by slapping it onto a generic women's magazine, but it's a decision that would only have made sense if that magazine stuck closely to its strengths. Muscle & Fitness, no matter what its publishers seem to think nowadays, is not a lifestyle brand. It was, is, and always will be about lifting heavy stuff.

 

Not surprisingly, the September/October Hers excels only when it focuses its attention on, duh, muscles and fitness. "Training: Notebook" passes along a wealth of helpful tips on everything from the necessity of wearing lifting gloves and belts to push-up technique. "Workbook: Muscle," despite its burial at the end of the magazine (is the mag trying to alienate fans of the core brand?), offers a novel and well-articulated take on so-called isolation exercises.

 

When Hers downshifts into lifestyle territory, however, shield your eyes and your brain. "Nutrition: notebook" goes where every mag has gone before with its foods-that-help-moods piece (oh, a delicious rhyme!), while "HerLife: motivation" proposes a bunch of flat mental tips for exercising ("get psyched," "rev yourself") before flogging relaxation products (massagers, yes; vibrators, no). "HerStyle" presents tops and shoes and bags without much editorial comment; "HerBeauty" babbles about citrusy scents and hair dyes.

 

As for the features, "Time Shavers" could well be the most excruciatingly dim story I've read in a magazine this year. It promises to help readers save 992 hours a year, yet the suggestions include "toss your own pie" ("you'll save up to a half-hour waiting for the pizza-delivery guy"--kinky, right?) and "order postage stamps online" (15 minutes a week saved? Are you buying one stamp at a time? And who mails that many letters?).

 

The profile on TLC's Chilli compromises the mag's fit-first mission with a photo depicting her in the act of frying bacon. As for cover girl Courtney Hansen, whose name, oddly, isn't mentioned on the cover, her totally awesome Farrah Fawcett hair deserves far better than the story that accompanies it. Yes, she hosts a block of auto-themed shows on Spike TV, but that still doesn't excuse the story's lead: "If auto expert and TV host Courtney Hansen were a car, there's no way she'd be something as mundane as a Taurus. No. This rising star of the entertainment world is a high-octane NASCAR speedster all the way." I mean, wow. Is it fair to the rest of us that the person who wrote this paragraph is technically allowed to represent himself as a journalist?

 

It wasn't until I perused the entire Muscle & Fitness Hers that its "editor's letter" started to make sense. Rather than the traditional seasonal tie-in ("Autumn's chill brings with it shorter days...and longer workouts!") or big-picture statement ("weightlifting in North America finds itself at a crossroads, a STEROIDS crossroads!"), the letter avoids coherent thought entirely, throwing out a bunch of unrelated stats in a variety of fonts and colors ("4: Supermodel and überwaif Kate Moss' dress size pre- and post-rehab," "62: Percentage of women who are over 20 and overweight"). Ladies and gentlemen, that's what the Muscle & Fitness brand has been reduced to. Flush away.

 

Larry Dobrow is a Contributing Writer.

 

Magazine Rack for Wednesday, October 4, 2006: http://publications.mediapost.com/

 

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Andy Warhol Started Interview Magazine

Interview

 

by Dorothy Parker, Thursday, September 28, 2006

 

RECENTLY, AT A SCREENING of the Andy Warhol documentary that ran last week on PBS, Bob Colacello, Andy's sidekick (and editor of Interview magazine back in the day) was asked ''Who is the Edie Sedgwick of our time?'' ''Paris Hilton! Andy would have loved her,'' he told a reporter from New York magazine. ''He would say, 'But why do you hate her? She's so fabulous! We've got to put her on the cover of Interview every month!' I would scream, ''I'm not putting Paris on the cover one more time!'''

 

As it turns out, Andy was so preternaturally ahead of his time in his visceral understanding of celebrity culture that even his prediction, (''in the future, everyone will be world famous for 15 minutes'') has had its 15 minutes.

 

And maybe he's right about always having Paris. Any photo of the sorely overexposed brand-building heiress on the oversized magazine's cover would certainly have seemed more iconic (or, okay, HOT) than the odd, messy crew cobbled together for no discernible reason as cover celebs for this October issue. Ethan Hawke, Shia LaBeouf and Keith Urban wear T-shirts and jeans, while the women, Alicia Keys, Rachel Weisz, and Catalina Sandrino Moreno, sport long, shiny, sexy red evening gowns.

 

Why? And why that combination of people? (And six of them, at that?) What's their connection? Even though the picture was taken by famed fashion photographer Albert Watson, there's something ugly and unsettling about the graphics and the grouping, from the bright red Interview logo slapped on behind them to poor Shia La Beouf's head, floating somewhere over Keith Urban's shoulders. Ingrid Sischy's Letter from the Editor, (on page 120) does little to explain the choice, other than they are all grouped under the motto of the issue, ''The Times They Are a Changing,'' taken from Bob Dylan's famous 1964 song. Huh?

 

Of course, when Andy started the magazine as part of his empire in 1969, it was filled with celeb interviews that cried out for editing. Those pages were the editorial equivalent of his films that showed hours of someone sleeping or smoking a cigar. You kind of get bored by the second puff.

 

And that's pretty much the case with the interviews in this issue, as well. As earnest as Edward Norton is in interviewing New York attorney general and would be-governor Eliot Spitzer, the candidate is not all that interesting. What would seem to be a great combo on paper--Gladys Knight interviewing Alicia Keys--is mostly, as these interviews always tend to be, mutual appreciation copy. On the thematic note of the times a changin' issue, Keys does say ''I dream about speaking in big forums about issues that need to be spoken about.'' Yawn.

 

Elton John's husband, David Furnish, is a contributing editor, and Elton himself is all over the issue. He interviews Keith Urban, who, perhaps by dint of just having married Nicole Kidman, seems to be channeling Tom Cruise's robospeak. In the course of the interview, Urban, the man with the great highlights in his hair, uses the word ''extraordinary'' six times.

 

On the other hand, the review section, including ''Elton's tip sheet'' music picks, and movie reviews, is always good.

 

But you have to give the editors props for prescience in the interview with Dallas Cowboys' wide receiver Terrell Owens, who's been all over the news in the past few days for an alleged suicide attempt. The last question Dave Hollander asks him, (put, for some reason, in the extremely creepy third person), is ''Is Terrell Owens happy?" His answer speaks volumes: ''At this point, honestly, I'm not as happy as I'd like to be. I'll just leave it at that."

 

Peter Brant bought the magazine in 1989 from the Warhol estate, and as explained on the Web site, continues with a similar formula to this day--30 percent features/70 percent glossy advertising. The first 33 pages of the issue is composed of fashion ads, and a lot of them are great (woman lying on floor looking up at a Gucci boot the size of Godzilla, for example.) So are the photos. So maybe, in the end, Andy would be pleased. After all, another of his famous dicta was "I never read. I just look at pictures.''

 

Magazine Rack for Thursday, September 28, 2006: http://publications.mediapost.com/index.cfm

 

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If this issue was forwarded to you and you would like to begin receiving a copy of your own, please visit our site - www.mediapost.com - and become a complimentary member.
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